“Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together.” – Vincent van Gogh
Picking your nose in public is certainly not a nice thing to do. Picking your nose in private is probably okay… unless it’s Saturday and you’re one of Rabbi Ovadia Yosef’s followers. The interesting verdict was widely published in 1998 by the spiritual leader of the Orthodox Jewish Shas political party in Israel, which represents about 10% of the Israeli population.
In spite of what you may think about this ridiculous forbiddance, it makes perfect sense, given certain axioms. Assuming there is a god who is watching everything we do, and assuming he handed his instructions to the Jewish people through the Bible and the Talmud, then one should not perform any kind of work in the holy day of Saturday. The definition of work by this same codex of rules is very detailed, and includes for example things like cutting your hair. When you pick your nose, there is an obvious danger you’ll tear out some hair, therefore the act is strictly forbidden on Saturdays.
In a totally different place and environment, but approximately at the same time, Bishop Tikhon Fitzgerald and The Orthodox Church in America published a series of instructions for priests. The Orthodox Christian God, so it appears, seems to require the priest who is hearing the confession of another priest, not to bless the head of the priest who is confessing with his hand only. Instead he must hold a cross on the head and bless with it. Further instructions describe the exact direction that priests should face during various ceremonies, and many other exhausting details.
It is arguable that forcing one day of rest per week, or assisting people in distress by confession, are of some value. In fact, it is relatively safe to say that most religious laws and rituals can be associated with one noble cause or another, especially if you ask a talented preacher. Yet, religion – like any other authority – must translate its values into day-to-day details. The point is that in this case, it’s God’s will that allegedly propagates through all the fine details. As if His Holiness actually keeps an eye on our nasal hair on Saturdays.
It’s very likely that Judaism is the champion of small details. Many instructions were generated at different times due to the notion of fences, which are like safety zones around various things considered to be God’s will.
Thus, you are not allowed to tear toilet paper on Saturdays. You have to wait a minimum of six complete hours between eating something with meat and eating something else that contains milk (see also the chapter ‘From Now to Eternity’ above). However, you only have to wash your mouth after eating something with milk components, before enjoying a good hamburger. Also, you generally need to immerse your kitchen pots and pans in boiling water to prepare them before Passover, if they have previously been used to cook things above 45 degrees Celsius (113 degrees Fahrenheit).
While a wife is having her monthly period, the married couple is not supposed to have sex. What are the exact instructions for “family purity”? Just a few of the many fine details: The couple is not allowed to sit together on the same sofa if its structure transfers one’s movements to the other. They are not allowed to eat from the same plate. The termination of this period must be checked well by the wife, with a white piece of cloth, in a rotational movement, and she must wait for the sunset after being considered clean to attend the mikve (a mikve is a ritual immersion bath that restores purity). Not to mention the exact set of rules for going to the mikve afterwards to be so-called purified.
Calculating the exact minute when Saturday begins or ends has become an art by itself. In fact there are now special software programs available to assist in this complex task. Similarly, calculating the exact day when a month starts (according to the Jewish calendar) also requires great skill and vast knowledge. Nevertheless, Jewish holidays and fasts are based unerringly on this difficult calculation.
This trend (of not leaving anything for self interpretation) raises a whole new set of questions. Nowadays it’s a real challenge dealing with new knowledge and technologies, which were unknown to the ancient legislators. The results may be extremely funny sometimes: How do you avoid breaking the Sabbath when you’re orbiting Earth in a space shuttle? How do you bless the New Moon while you’re on it? Is it okay to speak near a recording device on Saturday, knowing that by speaking you are generating small electrical currents?
And indeed the modern rabbis, bishops and sheikhs leave very little for further inspection. Everything is dealt with. God seems to have an opinion on every little aspect of our modern lives as well. Want some real life examples? Have patience – here they come!
During the first Gulf War (Operation Desert Storm), Iraqi Scud missiles fell on populated areas in Israel. People got advanced warnings and directions through television and radio. But how do you get good advice from the media on the Sabbath without turning something on? So the chief rabbis found a creative solution: They issued a ruling that Orthodox Jews should leave a radio turned on over the Sabbath, tuned to the silent channel that the government had set aside to broadcast announcements in an emergency. Furthermore, Saturday radio operators were instructed to push the appropriate button not directly, but by using a small stick.
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