A letter sent to “Daat Emet“
The original letter (in Hebrew)

I was born in Jerusalem, Israel. And guess where? in the ultra-Orthodox religious ‘Mea Shearim’ neighborhood. As a child, I used to throw stones at passing cars on the Sabbath.

I have lived in the US for over 25 years. I was the best student in the “Yeshiva” and at the “Cheder”. I threw religion away almost 20 years ago. I hate religion, no, I abhor religion. I still “wear black”. I have very religious wife and children. I especially hate the Sabbath.

I am locked up in prison. Even worse, I must set the Sabbath table. I act, I’m an actor, it’s an act. I try eating non-kosher food at every opportunity. I want to be a “sinner” of every possible “sin”. Of course, only sins between man and God.

A friend showed me “Daat Emet“. I read it with lust. I did not discover anything new from “Daat Emet”. As a “good religious student” myself, I always knew that the Sages were ignorant and stupid (compared to our time).

— * — * —

As I said, let me tell you, I am very pessimistic. I do not know how much influence you may have. The forces of darkness are much more powerful than the forces of light. I have friends who think like me. We eat together in non-kosher restaurants, but, alas, my friends have a history like mine. We live in fear. We are frustrated because our children are ignorant and trapped in bad lives and prejudices. I see no hope for the future.

I don’t understand why in the “old Jewish town”, in every town, there were struggles between the educated and the ultra-religious, or between the Reform and the Orthodox, while here in the US and also in Israel, nothing. Quite the opposite. It’s very painful.

I want out. I want out. I want out. I’m suffocating. Release me. Leave me alone.

It’s easier to escape from prison than to get out of the black hole. I’m condemned for the rest of my life. I’m miserable. I tell my friends that we are not a minority, we are not even a minority within a minority. The forces of darkness are getting stronger. The situation is getting worse every day. I see no hope.